Groom speeches - it's all about the bride

Well, it is, and it isn't. Anyone that's been subjected to groom speeches, which are little more than an extended lecture on the subject of the bride, and how amazingly lucky the groom is to have met her, will understand the torture of that experience. I have had many chats with grooms who aren't remotely interested in talking about anyone else in their speech, than the bride, and that is a catastrophic lapse of judgment. Whilst the bride is the star of the show, the groom speech is a mega mix of people you should mention, and getting the balance right is essential. 

However, the title refers to the sentiment of the speech. Whatever you're saying, be it about your parents, your wife's parents, best man, ushers of bridesmaids, you have to think about your bride's sensibilities in all of these cases. Many grooms make the basic error of talking as much about the best man as they do their bride, and that's unforgivable. You need to look at the word count on each and adjust accordingly. It's also your responsibility to talk about your wife's parents - in the UK bride speeches are still a rarity, so they never get the chance to talk about what their parents mean to them, and you really need to hone down not only your thoughts, but the thoughts of your bride. 

That is also the case when it comes to talking about the bridesmaids. These are sisters and/or friends who mean a great deal to your bride, and you really need to understand how that needs to be said from your wife's perspective. Also keep an eye on humour, if you're planning to say something edgy, and you think it might upset your wife's parents, then just drop it, because that will upset her too, and there is nobody more important on the day than the bride. So, you need to think about the groom speech as almost a joint enterprise - on many subjects you're speaking on behalf of her, and that's not to be taken lightly.

Written By
Adrian Simpson
12 Dec, 2021

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