STRESS LESS. ENJOY THE DAY. NAIL THE SPEECH. BASK IN THE GLORY.
Writing a really successful Groom Speech takes a bit of thinking about, because there is so much to consider and so many people you could include. Below I’ve written lots of hints and tips on how to write a groom’s speech, or you could simply save yourself a lot of time, effort and frustration and commission me to write your speech. I love writing these speeches and I’d love to help you!
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You only have ten minutes. So if you’ve paid for a service forget about wasting any valuable lines telling them how great they were and save it for the people who count.
This is pretty much your one opportunity to tell your parents how great you really think they are and what amazing job they’ve done. Don’t fall down the trap of waxing lyrical about your new in-laws and skimping on your mum and dad.
We want to hear about how great she is, how you met and what she means to you. This is not an opportunity to showboat your lavish lifestyle. I want to know what she’s like as a person.
Never under five minutes, never over ten. Every wedding speech is all the better for lack of detail. The worst wedding crime in the world is talking for too long.
People who have travelled great distances – those friends and family that have gone to great effort and expense to help celebrate your big day deserve a mention. If there a more than 3 or 4, it’s probably best not to go into individual names for the sake of brevity. Instead thank by country – i.e. everyone who has made the trip from Hawaii. And then maybe have a funny line about the difference between all those countries and Didcot where you’re getting married.
Absent Friends – this can refer to both the deceased and those unable to make it due to other commitments. Keep it light, don’t be tempted to conduct a mini eulogy and make a toast at the end.
The Parents – You need to make sure you give both sets of parents equal measure. There’s a tendency for grooms to get a bit excited about their new in laws and focus on them much more than their own parents, and this really should be avoided. It’s a great idea to inject some comedy here with inherited genetic traits or how lucky your wife’s dad is to have you as a son in law.
The Best Man – He is one of the main players on the day and it’s a great opportunity to have a little dig at him before he makes his speech. There’s no need to be crass and you should avoid recounting lengthy stories of your time together.
The Bridesmaids – It’s your job to toast the bridesmaids, so tell them how lovely they look, and also what great friends/sisters they have been and maybe make a subtle reference to the Hen weekend as a source of comedy.
Those who have helped – You should include these people towards the beginning of the speech, and it should only ever be for the friends and family who have helped you though love and not money. Now is not the time to thank the wedding planner.
The Ushers – mention them by name but there’s no need to go into individual friendships etc. you simply haven’t got the time.
Flowergirls/Pageboys – Always tell them what a great job they’ve done and how smart/pretty they look. Include this with the bridesmaids is a good idea.
Children – If you have children together already, or have them from a previous relationship then you really need to make them feel included. Tell them what they mean to you both.
You can have a great speech but it will all come to nothing if you can’t land it on the day. Here are my thoughts on the three main delivery methods.
1. Memorise the whole speech – this is not for the feint hearted and as grooms are normally manically busy finding the time to devote to it proves tricky. Also you tend to focus on recalling the speech so much that genuine performance is affected. A mental block can prove catastrophic.
2. Cue Cards – this is probably the most popular way for most groom speeches and does work really well, but you have to know it inside out. Keep reading it every spare minute you have and it will cement itself in your mind. Remember the key words that make a joke sing.
3. Reading from a sheet – Contrary to what some may say, this can work really well. There are just a few things you need to bear in mind: speak as slowly and purposefully as possible, lots of pauses and LOADS of eye contact. Make sure you have something to rest the sheets on as they will be flapping around like crazy if you don’t.