My name is Adrian Simpson, and I write bespoke speeches. I never lose sight of just how important this moment is in your life, both on the day and beyond.
You are the first speaker on, and there’s the obvious pressure to kick things off in the right way – and that means being heartfelt, funny and entertaining in the right measures.
This a very emotionally loaded speech, but it can’t become a sentimental tsunami. You need to balance your sentiment with humour otherwise it becomes too difficult to listen to, and if you can make people laugh they will love you for it and listen to everything you have to say. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to celebrate what a wonderful person your daughter is, but you should do that in a subtle and understated way without becoming too detailed.
Tricky family circumstances can be a common stumbling block, and so subtle changes in words and phrases will allow you to achieve a great speech whilst papering over a divorce and make your daughter proud on the day.
You’re the first one on so a warm, genuine and inclusive welcome is called for, if you can think of something funny to say, so much the better!
The speech should be pitched from both you and your wife, if there are separations to consider then use general phrases such as ‘family’.
Speak to your son in law to see if he wants to specifically thank those who have travelled great distances, if not, then that’s your job.
Weave a logical progression through your daughter’s life. we don’t need every aspect but it makes it easier to follow with a more story like form.
Don’t forget to specifically mention your son in laws parents, care will need to be taken if they are no longer a married couple.
You need to give special thanks to your wife/ex partner for the job she has done in helping to raise her. If there is bad blood, now is not the time to score points.
Even if you’re not his biggest fan, the groom should be welcomed and acknowledge in an open and warm way. Again avoid any temptation to make subtle digs.
Avoid marriage advice. Chances are they’ve been living together for some time, and it always feels a little awkward in these progressive times.
Really try to avoid saying what a lovely day it’s been, everyone is waiting for you to get to the good stuff, so leave filler like this out.
At all costs don’t forget to mention your wife/ex partner. If divorces are involved then don’t use it as an opportunity for points scoring. It’s all about your daughter.
Cliched wedding jokes and so called ‘ice breakers’ are Route 1 to disaster. At best you’re going to get a polite chuckle, and nobody wants that.
You need to celebrate your daughter in a subtle way, so avoid listing GCSE results and the terms of her bonus scheme.
Some guys use this speech as an excuse to flaunt your lavish lifestyle. It’s never a good idea. If you’ve done well everyone will know about it already.
Avoid toasting or mentioning the bridesmaids, this will be covered by the groom and you don’t want to steal his thunder.
If you don’t like your son in law then pretend, if only for the day. The remnants of this speech will last for a very long time.
Don’t forget to mention other siblings, this is a family event and you need to make them feel included, if only briefly.
Avoid giving marriage advice, it’s cliched and can be very clunky. If you’re 3 times divorced however, it can be very funny.
Don’t over do the pre speech refreshment. You might be feeling nervous but 7 pints of mild isn't going to improve things.
This includes unlimited editing and support from the moment you commission us to the moment you deliver the speech.There is also an option to make split payments.
You can have a great speech but it will all come to nothing if you can’t land it on the day. Here are my thoughts on the three main delivery methods.
1. Memorise the whole speech – this is not for the feint hearted and as fathers of the bride are normally manically busy finding the time to devote to it proves tricky. Also you tend to focus on recalling the speech so much that genuine performance is affected. A mental block can prove catastrophic.
2. Cue Cards – this is probably the most popular way for most father of the bride speeches and does work really well, but you have to know it inside out. Keep reading it every spare minute you have and it will cement itself in your mind. Remember the key words that make a joke sing.
3. Reading from a sheet – Contrary to what some may say, this can work really well. There are just a few things you need to bear in mind: speak as slowly and purposefully as possible, lots of pauses and LOADS of eye contact. Make sure you have something to rest the sheets on as they will be flapping around like crazy if you don’t.