Father of the bride speech - how do you like your toast?

Toasting is a big part of wedding speeches, and frequently it's the part that's overlooked in its detail. Usually you have 3 wedding speakers, although these days that's quickly becoming 4 or maybe even 5, and if they're all going to be making toasts, things can get out of hand pretty quickly.What needs to happen, and so rarely does, is that all the speakers should talk amongst each other and work out who's taking which toast. As there's generally very little communication between speakers you end up with the awkward mess of 3 toasts to the bridesmaids, and 3 toasts to those no longer with us. 

So, what toasts should be included in a father of the bride speech? Well, it all depends on how the groom wants to play things, but whatever happens don't toast or mention the bridesmaids, that's the groom's job and you don't want to double up, especially when most best men don't have a clue what they're doing also like to toast the bridesmaids. A standard father of the bride speech should have a toast to the happy couple at the end, and depending on family circumstance a toast to those no longer with us near the beginning of the speech. That is it. Sometimes the groom want to take the absent friends toast fro himself, and sometimes it's too much for him, so communication is key.

However, there is one extra way you can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and that's by making the guests stand for toasts. Even though this would be seen as traditional, and expected in a military mess, I don't think it works for a wedding, and if you bear in mind they're maybe 4 toasts, they're going to be up and down like some dodgy Mexican wave. I would suggest asking the MC to advise guests to remain seated for all toasts, that way there's no confusion. Also suggest to the groom that he checks what toasts everyone is planning to make, and that way you're going to neatly avoid death by a thousand wedding toasts.

Written By
Adrian Simpson
1 Oct, 2021

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