Father of the bride speech - Happy Families?

Weddings are of course the coming together of two people, whose mutual love and affection means that they simply cannot with without each other; and it also brings together two families with varying degrees of love and affection. Just because your daughter finds your brand new son in law irresistible, it doesn't necessarily follow that you'll have a similar attraction towards his parents. This wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the father of the bride speech. In that speech you should always include the groom's parents out of courtesy, but sometimes that may feel a little awkward, especially if they've done little to assist in the wedding planning and preparation.

The easiest way top avoid any upset or irritation is simply to keep in mind that today is all about your daughter, and anything that might upset her, is not going to be suitable for the speech. I have been to weddings where non gratuitous pot shots were taken at the groom's family, and if you want to cause a family ruck and have an eternal excuse for an argument, then go right ahead. The wedding day and especially the speech is absolutely no place for any kind of points scoring exercise - as always with weddings: less is more. The less you say, the more powerful and effective your sentiment is, but whatever you do, don't be tempted to say nothing - nothing speaks louder than a glaring omission. Apart from anything, the groom didn't choose his parents, and nobody will be more acutely aware of family clashes than him.

Weddings also neatly bring into focus the stresses and strains within your own family. Divorced parents, warring siblings, and matriarchal Grannies intent on imposing themselves, all make for a rich blend of conflict on the day. Again the same principle applies here: keep their inclusion in the speech short, efficient, warm and incredibly non specific. In other words don't let any of your words be a reason to amplify or reignite those tensions, particularly not on the day itself.

Written By
Adrian Simpson
27 Sep, 2021

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