The ultimate groom speech guide, the most important speech you’ll ever make

By Adrian Simpson, professional speechwriter · Updated June 2026

The Groom Speech is a really busy speech. There are a lot of bases to hit, you’ve got all the acknowledgements, thanks and tributes, and if you’re not careful it can easily unravel into one long procession of thanking people, and several hours of your life you’ll never get back. So, things to remember;

It’s an amazing opportunity to say lovely things about people who are, or have been, important in your life, and you really need to make the most of it, because whilst it’s 10 minutes or so on the day, it’s something that will stick with you for the rest of your days, and so getting it right is very important.

You need to make all those thanks, acknowledgements and welcomes, in the most creative and entertaining way possible, and the magic ingredient is humour. If you can make people laugh in an original and personal way, they will love you for it and listen to everything you’ve got to say, and it acts as a perfect balance for some of the more profound things you might like to say.

On this page I’ve written out pretty much every idea, hints and tips that you’re ever going to need to write a really great groom speech.

Quick Links

Opening Lines · Structure · Special Thanks · Journeys · Absent Friends · Groom’s Parents · Bride’s Parents · Best Man · Ushers · Bridesmaids · Bride · Closing Lines · Delivery · Divorced Parents · Humour · Gifts · Marrying Across Nations · Length · The Devil Is in the Details · Lead the Way · Toasts · Balance · Stag Weekend · Some Really Bad Ideas

How do you write a great groom speech?

A great groom speech balances all the thanks, tributes and welcomes with original humour, building steadily towards the bride at the end.

Here’s a short video with all my hints and tips for writing a great groom speech. I’ve expanded on those thoughts and ideas on this page to give you the complete guide to writing your own.

[Discover my speech writing service →](/groom-speech-writer)

How do you start a groom speech? (Opening Lines)

Open by welcoming everyone “on behalf of my wife and I”, it’s the one wedding cliché worth keeping, and it gets the room cheering every single time.

This is very straightforward. I am not a fan of clichés in wedding speeches and avoid them as much as possible, with one notable exception, and that’s the opening lines of the groom speech. There really is no better way to kick off the speech and to get people cheering from the beginning, than to welcome everyone on behalf of ‘my wife and I’. It works every single time, and anyone looking to better it, really is trying too hard to be different, sometimes, and only very rarely, the dusty old wedding clichés get it spot on.

EXAMPLES:

“Good afternoon everyone…on behalf of my wife and I…thank you all so much for being here with us, and making the day today even more special….even the best man Dave”

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it is so wonderful to have you all here with us today, it really does mean a great deal to us both…I’m just glad that the best man Dave made it here in one piece…because the last thing I heard his full time carers weren’t going to release him”

How should you structure a groom speech? (Structure)

Start with the welcome and thanks, move through the important people, and build towards the bride at the end, never flit back and forth or cover the same person twice.

The structure of a groom speech is really important, because without a clear framework, it can all too soon become a rambling mess. Where people usually go wrong is to keep flitting back and forwards with the same ideas, once you’ve mentioned someone, then you should really keep moving on to different areas. Don’t forget, you’ve only got limited time up there before you out stay your welcome.

The structure can be very basic. The beginning of the speech should of course, be the welcome, and then you can include thanks to anyone that’s really helped out. Avoid going straight into talking about your bride, as in my opinion and experience, the speech should always build towards her part in the latter stages. Once you’ve got the ‘admin’ bits of the speech covered, you can then include a toast to those no longer with us.

That brings us to the next part of the structure which is all about the important people. This should include:

• both sets of parents
• Best man
• Ushers
• Bridesmaids

Things to remember:

• You need to keep this fairly punchy and resist going into too much detail, so make every sentence count. Yes, it would be great to talk about the ushers in detail, but you simply haven’t got the time.
• You need to come up with a way of summarising their impact on your life in a really creative, efficient, and preferably funny way.
• This is also true of the best man. Many grooms write as much about their best man as they do their brand new wife, so check your word count and adjust accordingly.
• There is usually an expectation from the bride to lay out in detail her various relationships with the bridesmaids. Just keep in mind that when it comes to a groom speech, less is always more.

The final part of the structure is all about the bride, and what you simply have to focus on here, is avoiding the trap of saying the same thing in about 3 different ways. This should include how you met, first dates, and how your relationship developed, and what she means to you.

Who should you thank in a groom speech? (Special Thanks)

Reserve thanks for the friends and family who genuinely helped with the wedding, group them together so it’s not a list, and never thank the paid suppliers.

I like to include any thanking that needs to be done at the top of the speech and to get it out of the way as early as possible.

Things to remember:

• These thanks should only ever be reserved for friends and family that have really helped you out with the wedding plans and/or on the day.
• If possible group them together so you’re not reading out a list of individual thanks. If you do attempt to do this it’s going to be very tedious to listen to, lose all impact and really start to rack up the word count.
• Whatever you do don’t be tempted to start thanking the venue, the caterers, photographer etc. They are all being paid handsomely, and really, they should be thanking you!

EXAMPLES:

“I would like to thank Uncle Dave for coming all the way from Australia to the UK…which, let’s face it, is just like Australia but with slightly more swimming gold medals and slightly fewer blokes with non ironic mullets”

“I would really like to thank Mary for all her hard work making our cake, and Cassie for making all the beautiful bridesmaids dresses, thanks to them you haven’t had to look at, or eat anything that I’ve been responsible for which can only be a good thing. I have on the other hand been responsible for the free bar which I’m not saying is as good as a dress…but it’s a pretty close second.”

How do you thank guests who travelled a long way? (Journeys)

Recognise guests who made a big effort to attend, but group them together and have some fun comparing where they’ve come from with where the wedding is.

Some people go to extraordinary efforts and expense to make it to weddings on the other side of the world, and quite rightly that should be publicly recognised in the groom speech. You should try to group these together as much as possible, so if you’ve got several different guests coming all the way from New York, put them under one umbrella and avoid thanking them individually. It’s also an opportunity to have some fun with where they’ve come from and where the wedding is, so a comparison between Los Angeles and Stevenage is ripe for the picking. Maybe as a pay off you could offer some way in which all that effort is going to be worthwhile such as the free bar/meal/watching you dance.

EXAMPLES:

“Don’t worry uncle Dave your carbon footprint all becomes worthwhile when you see me dancing later on”

“I would like to thank Dave for coming all the way from New York, not saying that Dave’s usually late but to get him here on time we actually told him the wedding was last week.”

How do you handle an absent friends toast? (Absent Friends)

Have just one absent friends toast, place it towards the start so you end on a high, and keep it a respectful overview, not a mini eulogy.

There should only be one absent friends toast in the series of wedding speeches, and that’s usually taken care of by the groom. I like to put the absent friend’s toast towards the start of the speech because you want to end on a positive, celebratory note and not to bring things down.

It all depends on how close your relationship was with friends and family that have passed away, but obviously the closer you were, the more detail you’re going to put into this section. Parents who have died, obviously deserve a really special mention, and as difficult as it may be, you’re still going to have to treat this as an overview, and don’t be tempted to go into too much detail. The day is about one person: the bride, and you need to keep the spotlight on her, in other words don’t write a mini eulogy.

EXAMPLE:

“Unfortunately, my father cannot be with us today. He was a much loved family man, son, uncle and friend to many, and he is missed greatly every day.”

What should you say about your own parents? (Groom’s Parents)

Say succinctly how much you love and respect them, use one story only if it has a killer punchline, and have some fun with what you did, or didn’t, inherit.

This is pretty much the only time in your life that you’re going to stand up and tell a room full of people what amazing parents you have, and what a great job they’ve done, so don’t blow it.

Things to remember:

• You need to say as succinctly as possible how much you love and respect them for the years of sacrifice, hard work and generally putting up with you. Hopefully, you’re only going to get one stab at this, so choose your words carefully.
• Again, recounting specific stories here really eats into the words, and I would only ever use one if it had a killer punchline, and keep the whole thing down to a couple of punchy sentences.
• Talking about your parents is always fertile ground for having some fun, and will balance out the more heartfelt things you might like to say, so what is it that you have, or haven’t, inherited from your parents, and how can you make that funny?

EXAMPLES:

“Dad, I would like to thank you for passing on your brains…well, I say thank you but as they only led me to becoming an estate agent, the jury’s out as to exactly how useful they really have been.”

“Dad, thanks for the hair genetics, you really shouldn’t have. I mean you REALLY shouldn’t have.”

What should you say about the bride’s parents? (Bride’s Parents)

Give your new in-laws roughly the same word count as your own parents, thank them for welcoming you and draw parallels to the woman they raised.

What you’re looking to do here is achieve roughly the same word count for both sets of parents. Focussing on one set of parents is the kind of thing that really sticks out in a speech, and usually grooms are guilty of giving their new in laws the big up, and skimping on their own mum and dad, so make sure it’s even.

Things to remember:

• Here you talk about how they’ve welcomed you into their family, and what it is about them that you love so much.
• Try to draw parallels between the people they are, the way they raised their daughter and the person she is today.
• If there are specific times you’ve shared together that really mean something, then here’s where to add them in.
• If there’s any conflict between you and either your parents and/or the bride’s, then just glide over it. Don’t use the speech as attempt to point score, as it will only backfire.

How should you talk about the best man? (Best Man)

Handle the best man in the middle of the speech, not the end, say what a great friend he’s been, then have some fun with his character and flaws.

I much prefer to handle the best man in the middle of the speech and avoid any clumsy handover at the end, because I believe the conclusion of your speech should be all about the bride. You need to say what a great friend/brother he has been and how much better your life has been for having him in it. This isn’t to be taken lightly, best men are appointed because of their close connection, and it’s the only time you’re ever going to get to let everyone know what he means to you, so make the most of it. Then you need to find a way of having some fun with his character and exploiting some of his weaknesses etc. that might suggest why his judgment could be poor.

EXAMPLES:

“Jake is an estate agent, he’s paid to tell lies, so prepare yourself for some of his most creative work yet!”

“It should be noted that Dave is a Sunderland fan and so has never been amongst a crowd of happy people before and will probably react by creating controversy just so he can feel comfortable again.”

How do you thank the ushers? (Ushers)

Keep the ushers general, light and funny, thank them collectively rather than finding something to say about every single one.

It’s groomsmen in the US and Australia, and ushers in Europe, but they all do the same job: support the groom in the run up to the wedding and on the big day itself. When you’re thanking ushers keep it general, light and funny, and please don’t find things to say about each and every one, otherwise we’re going to be here all day. This should be fun as well, so if there’s a way of collectively having a laugh with them, exploit it. If you are going to mention the stag weekend or bachelor party, and it’s not something I’d recommend, then do it here, and go light on detail.

How do you toast the bridesmaids? (Bridesmaids)

It’s the groom’s job, not the best man’s, to thank and toast the bridesmaids: name them, praise them, and keep it warm and funny.

It’s your job to talk about and toast the bridesmaids, not the best man. You need to mention them by name, and say what a great group of friends/sisters they have been and how great it is that you’ve got them in your life as well. You could thank them for organising the hen weekend, and say what a culturally enriching experience that was for all concerned. If this involves sisters you should say how amazing it is to now be related…even if you don’t mean it! The toast at the end is the only toast that the groom has to make.

EXAMPLES:

“Sarah, you are an amazing sister to Jane, and I am so happy that we are now officially family…you don’t have to agree but at least I come with access to free plant machinery hire”

“Ladies you all look absolutely amazing, the fact that there are seven of you, and one looks quite grumpy is in no way going to lead me to make any Disney comparisons”

What should you say about the bride? (The Bride)

The bride is your conclusion and should make up about 30% of the speech, how you met, her impact on you, her character, what she means to you and how you proposed, with light and shade throughout.

This is the conclusion of the speech and in reality, should make up about 30% of the total word count. In these words, you need to describe how you met, what an incredible positive impact she’s had on your life, what her character is like, what she means to you and how you proposed.

There is a lot to fit in there, and these words will stay with you for life, so make what you say really count. On the other hand, you can’t be too gushy, because that can come across as a little clumsy too. Think about what makes her character unique in your eyes; what is it about your wife that makes her the person you want to share your life with? In these words you could include some short anecdotes of the times you’ve shared so far that highlight her character, passions and unique sense of humour.

This cannot be one huge chunk of emotion, there needs to be light and shade, funny ideas and observations about your new wife always go down well, and you should sprinkle these throughout. A common mistake is to repeat what you’ve already said but in a slightly different way. So, if you’ve said how much you love her in one way, then that’s enough.

The Final Toast, You’re looking to finish the speech in the most succinct way possible so don’t drag it out too long. I always avoid toasting the bride in isolation, it’s never felt right and I think in the celebration of marriage only toasting one half is a little weird. Instead, just make it a general health/happiness toast and you’re done.

How should you end a groom speech? (Closing Lines)

Forget the traditional handover to the best man, your final words should be about your bride, finishing on a toast to the future.

The closing lines in a groom speech are a contentious issue, and I’ve always diverted from tradition. The usual status quo when it comes to the closing lines in a groom speech, is to then hand over to your best man, and this for me, is getting it completely wrong.

The best man should have already been mentioned, the last sentiment and words you should say has to be all about your bride, so why make the best man the final part? Forget handing over to him, and leave at a toast to the future. Everyone knows he’s on next, and many weddings have an MC to remind them.

Other things to consider

How should you deliver the speech? (Delivery)

Practise out loud until it flows and you can look up from your notes, on a busy speech like this, pace and clarity matter as much as the words.

Once your groom speech is written, give yourself time to rehearse it properly. Read it aloud several times so the running order becomes second nature and you can lift your eyes to the room rather than reading word-for-word. Print it in a large, clear font on numbered cards or a single sheet, and keep a backup on your phone. Because the groom speech carries so many thanks and names, go slowly and deliberately, rushing is the easiest way to garble a name or lose a punchline. Leave a beat after the funny lines so the laughter has room, and don’t be afraid to pause before the heartfelt moments. Most of all, remember the whole room is willing you on: take a breath, enjoy it, and let yourself mean every word about your new wife.

How do you handle divorced parents? (Divorced Parents)

Take each parent one at a time and give them equal measure, never favour one side, recognise long-standing new partners, and omit any very new ones.

This is a really common tricky area, and one that needs to be handled very carefully especially if new partners are involved. Take them one at a time and make sure you give each parent an equal measure. If their new partners have been around for a long time and have had a big impact on your life, then this needs to be recognised.

I usually start with the father, but with Jewish weddings you should probably start with the mother. What you’re looking to do is not give any opportunity for inequality, so don’t wax lyrical about your dad’s new partner and go light on your mum, the ramifications of this speech will last for many years. If either parent has a very new partner on the scene, then it’s best to just omit them altogether.

How much humour should a groom speech have? (Humour)

A lot, humour is the magic ingredient. Not scripted internet gags, but finding what’s genuinely funny about the people you’re introducing and thanking.

This is a hugely important ingredient to any really great groom speech. If you make people laugh, they’ll love you for it and listen to everything you’ve got to say, and it acts as the perfect balance to some of the more profound things you might like to say. This should be an entertaining speech with some pretty big messages wrapped up in it, the entertainment factor keeps people interested because there’s only so much emotion people can take.

However, when it comes to jokes and comedy, I’m not talking about the scripted gags you’ll find on the internet, this is about working out how to make situations and events in your life funny when you’re introducing people and thanking them. Work out what it is that’s funny about your new father in law and have some fun with it. What is it that your new wife doesn’t like about you? How can you exploit your best man’s character flaws? There’s comedy gold out there, you just have to look for it!

Should you hand out gifts during the speech? (Gifts)

No, making the room wait while people collect gifts kills the momentum. Hand them out privately on the morning of the wedding instead.

Many grooms see the speech as an opportunity to dish out a little treat to people that have helped and who also mean a lot to them, unfortunately it’s one of the most counterproductive things you can do in a speech. Making the whole room twiddle their thumbs whilst various people make their way up to the top table to collect tankards etc. not only makes the speech unbearably long, but also it stops it dead in its tracks.

Forward momentum is the key to a great speech and the last thing you want to do is have to get everyone back on board again. I always recommend handing out the gifts in a private moment on the morning of the wedding.

How do you handle a speech across two languages or cultures? (Marrying Across Nations)

Don’t translate the whole thing live, deliver it mainly in your own language with two well-crafted pieces in your partner’s, and keep it on the shorter side.

So many weddings involve the coming together of different nationalities and cultures, which adds extra fun and excitement to an already amazing day, but it can also provide a few challenges when it comes to language barriers. I have written for countless grooms in this position, and here’s what I recommend:

• Don’t attempt a dual translation of the speech in real time. It will unravel into a 40 minute marathon, and be extremely tedious for everyone.
• Make the majority of the speech in your native language, but have two well crafted pieces you say in your wife’s language to top and tail the speech.
• Many cultures do not embrace wedding speeches and whilst they’re happily curious, keep things on the shorter side, listening to something they don’t understand, their patience isn’t limitless.
• Make sure the other speakers have thought about the cultural divide. Help them avoid lengthy/inappropriate speeches.

How long should a groom speech be? (Length)

Aim for around 1,400 words, about 10 minutes on the day, and start trimming once you go past 1,500.

The groom’s speech is the one that can run away with you and take on epic proportions if you’re not careful. The main problem is that most grooms want to include far too many people in the speech, and talk about them in far too much detail, and there simply isn’t time to do that.

You should really aim for a total word count of 1400 words, which on the day, when read at a steady pace, will come in at around the 10 minute mark, maybe a touch longer with stoppages. Speeches always take longer on the day than they do when you’re practicing at home, but if you’re looking at anything over 1500 words then it really is time to snip a few words here and there.

You’ve also got to bear in mind that if the Father of the bride has spoken for a while and you’re up for half an hour, guests will have sat through an hour of speeches before they get to the best man, and that’s way too long.

How much detail should you include? (The Devil Is in the Details)

Counterintuitively, detail kills a speech, save it for where it really matters and keep everything else efficient.

It may sound counterintuitive, but detail really kills a speech. That doesn’t mean your speech should be a bland overview, but rather save the detail for where it really matters.

Things to remember:

• We really don’t need a full run down on the history and provenance of the venue.
• When talking about your parents boil down the childhood memories to the most efficient minimum.
• A groom talking about his new in-laws can often be swamped with detail, in a bid to underline his love and respect for them. Less is more.
• When mentioning the best man, remember this is not a history of your days together in real time.
• You can talk about each usher in detail, but if you do, be prepared to be already single by the time you’ve finished.
• Be efficient with how you include the bridesmaids, a powerful summary is worth much more than a series of stories.
• War and Peace as to how you met, the dating days and the proposal should be avoided.

How can the groom keep all the speeches on track? (Lead the Way)

As the man in charge, agree a word count with the other speakers and make sure no toasts or tributes are doubled up.

Most grooms don’t make the most of their position, and that’s a shame because as the guy in charge you can do your bit to ensure that the speeches are a huge hit, and not several hours of your life you’ll never get back.

Things to remember:

• The first thing to do is make all the other speakers agree to a maximum word count, the more speakers there are, the less each individual word count should be. With 3 speakers it should be 1400 each, and then with 4 speakers 1200 each, and so on.
• You should also make sure that you’re not doubling up on any content, so ensure that each of the toasts are given only once, and then if you’ve mentioned a close relative who has passed away the best man isn’t also planning some kind of tribute. Avoiding repetition is the aim of the game.

How many toasts should there be? (Toasts)

Four at most: a general toast at the end, one to the bridesmaids, one to the parents, and one to those no longer with us.

The maximum number of toasts I would have is 4. You need a general toast at the end, a toast to the bridesmaids, a toast to the parents, and also a toast to those no longer with us.

Of course, this is completely optional but ending your speech without a toast would be odd and also tradition states that you should toast the bridesmaids, so if you’re going to drop any of them it should be the parents and those departed. I would resist the urge to make more than four toasts, so forget the best man, ushers, helpers etc.

How do you keep a groom speech balanced? (Balance)

Don’t dive straight into talking about the bride, save her for the conclusion, or the speech loses its shape.

One of the pitfalls of a groom speech is having no balance to it because you’re far too keen to talk about your bride. Diving straight in to the subject of the bride might seem like a great idea, but the latter end of the speech and conclusion should all be about her, and so there’s no point in beginning the speech talking about her and then ending it talking about her. I have seen many groom speeches which are only made up of talking about the bride and how amazing she is. You can try it, but it won’t work.

Should you mention the stag weekend? (Stag Weekend)

Best avoided, thank the best man for organising it, but don’t isolate the room with stories only six people understand.

Ok, it was a great few days away in Magaluf, Berlin or Ljubljana, but those things are best shared with all the survivors at the pub rather than in the groom speech.

Of course, you can thank the best man for organising a great stag weekend, but don’t isolate the rest of the room by recounting stories that make 6 people laugh and the rest of the room scratching their heads. All too often it comes across as boorish and a little conceited, and so far, has never made it into any groom speech that I’ve ever written.

What should you never do in a groom speech? (Some Really Bad Ideas)

Never rap or sing it, start with “once upon a time”, do a musical mash-up, turn it into an audience quiz, or outsource it to a video montage.

One of the most entertaining areas of wedding speeches is reading what other so-called experts suggest adding to, or indeed making, your speech. You may not have the greatest speech in the world, but as long as you avoid these appalling pieces of advice, seen elsewhere, you’ll at least scrape through with your dignity intact. So, never ever…

• Rap your speech…unless you want to live with permanent PTSD.
• Start your groom speech with the words ‘Once upon a time’. Yuk.
• Perform a ‘musical mash up’…this is a groom speech, not the Edinburgh Fringe.
• ‘Get other people to do it for you’ i.e. a video montage of friends saying their bit. It’s a groom speech. If you can’t be bothered to say it, call it off.
• ‘Turn your speech into an audience quiz’. Toe curling, and about as meaningful as Blankety Blank.
• Sing the speech…even if you’re that guy from One Direction, listening to an 8 minute song about parents, absent friends, best man, bridesmaids and bride…would be a legal form of torture.

---

Want your groom speech written for you?

I write bespoke, original groom speeches built around your relationship, sincere, genuinely funny, and balanced so every thank-you lands and the words about your partner stay with you for life.

Discover my speech writing service →

---