Bespoke Wedding Speeches


Why Book a Bespoke Speech?


Well, the short and honest answer is that with one single payment the fear and loathing you’ve been experiencing ever since you realised you had to make this speech, will simply disappear. 

There is so much to think about with all wedding speeches and the potential for getting things wrong is always lurking in the background, but for me the greatest and most untouchable quality of this service is the humour. All speeches work better with well placed and well judged humour, and it’s the part of the creative writing process that I enjoy the most. 

Knowing how to create original and funny observations is a hard won skill and I never stop until I think the funny bits are as funny as they possibly can be. 

But it’s more than just being entertaining, you need to know that you’re talking about the right people in the right way, and not leaving anything to chance. This is a speech that you will come back and think about for many many years to come, and so making it as good as it can possibly be, is a no brainer. 


The Benefits of a Bespoke Speech

  • Complete piece of mind – all you have to do is answer some questions, sit back and wait for the magic to happen.
  • No Guesswork – you will be 100% sure that the speech I write for you will deliver in exactly the way it’s intended. The funny will be very funny – the length, humour, and content will all be exquisitely constructed.
  • Tweaks – if you would like to make any amendments then I will work through those as you see fit.
  • Funny – if you’re worried about not being funny, then don’t. I know how to make people laugh. A lot. 
  • Hitting all the right targets – I know exactly who to include and those who can live without a mention.
  • Order – the structure and order of wedding speeches is crucial and I know how to create the perfect former whatever the scenario. 
  • One Fee – there is only one payment, there are no hidden extras, and no supplements for editing. 


Some are way too short, others go on for days, but if I write your wedding speech I take into account social and cultural indicators and can guarantee it will be the perfect length every single time.


Writing jokes

Writing original and funny jokes is a very difficult business, and to get it right takes years of practice. You don;t have to worry about finding that talent in record time, because it’s something that I can take a great deal of pleasure in creating


If you attempt to write your own wedding speech making it original, given your undoubtedly tight schedule is going to be almost impossible. I excel at creating completely original speeches because I’ve spent years looking for threads and narratives.


Once you have one of my bespoke wedding speeches, you will immediately see the difference in quality, and the confidence that gives you when you stand up and start speaking is worth the fee alone.

Comfort Zone

Writing speeches isn’t your thing and there’s no reason why should be good at it. The time it will take you to master a really funny, really creative speech, will probably result in a broken relationship and a meltdown. Let me do the hard work for you.


Nobody will ever know you’ve used my service. You pay you fee and as far as the other guests are concerned you’re a creative genius and a public speaking demi god. Enjoy it.