The Groom Speech - Where to Begin?

Writing a really successful Groom Speech takes a bit of thinking about, because there is so much to consider and so many people you could include. Below I’ve written lots of hints and tips on how to write a groom’s speech, or you could simply save yourself a lot of time, effort and frustration and commission me to write your speech. I love writing these speeches and I’d love to help you!

Hints and Tips

  • Paid Services –  You have ten minutes to talk about: two sets of parents, best man, ushers, friends, your bride, how you met etc etc. So if you’ve paid for a service forget about wasting any valuable lines telling them how great they were and save it for the people who count.
  • Parents – This is pretty much your one opportunity to tell your parents how great you really think they are and what amazing job they’ve done. Don’t dismiss them with one line and don’t fall down the trap of waxing lyrical about your new in laws and skimping on your mum and dad.
  • Bride – We want to hear about how great she is, how you met and what she means to you. This is not an opportunity to showboat your lavish lifestyle and wave your wads in the face of wedding guests. Talking about yourself is distasteful at best, so don’t list all the amazing countries you’ve visited together or that time you were in Quaglino’s I want to know what she’s like as a person.
  • Length – never under five minutes, never over ten. Every wedding speech is all the better for lack of detail. The worst wedding crime in the world is talking for too long.


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What toasts should you include?

The Groom has all the formalities to take care of and that means the toasts. The idea is to corrupt the flow of your speech as little as possible and so don’t make guests stand up and sit down to make toasts as it will make it look like some Bavarian Oompah band. Make them definite punctuations points in the speech and then keep the whole thing rolling. Here’s who to toast:

  • Those no longer with us – unfortunately weddings throw a spotlight on those people who are no longer in our lives, and it can be very difficult territory, especially where parents are involved. You need to keep it really positive and light and don’t dwell or any sadness.
  • The parents – most grooms like to make a toast to the parents, after all they’re the ones that got you here! Include both sets in this toast and you can also reference any generous help with the wedding.
  • The Bridesmaids – It’s your job to toast the bridesmaids not the best man. If they’re a thirsty bunch you can have a little fun with this one.
  • The end – at the very end of the speech you should make a general toast of celebration. I always avoid toasting the bride in isolation as I think it comes across as quite clunky.

What to avoid

With so many people to talk about and so much to consider there can be some very clear pitfalls in this speech. If you can weave your way through them, make them laugh and make them cry, you’re on course for victory. Here’s how to avoid disaster:

  • Don’t forget to thank the Father of the bride, or whoever gave the first speech. It’s just a subtle courtesy but it means a lot. You can also make a funny reference to the quality of his words how pleased your are to be in his life.
  • If either parents are divorced and remarried, make sure you at least include by name their new partners, whatever you may think of them. A wedding speech should never be a points scoring exercise.
  • Mentioning the stag weekend is a classic example of exclusive humour. You’re channelling the speech directly at a few guests for your own pleasure  and it never feels right. Keep everyone involved.
  • I recommend to not give out the gifts during the speech but in a private moment on the morning of the wedding.  This prevents everyone from sitting through several minutes of shuffling about whilst they troop up to the top table.
  • A classic mistake for a groom is to use this an exercise to showcase their better than average lifestyle. Avoid listing amazing achievements, lavish hotels and exclusive clubs. It just grates.


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